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IDIOCY 101 is the newest collegiate basketball crash course. Its aims are simple: To disrupt the beautiful game of hoops and deviate attention from on-court action to meddling by referees, league officials and any other person not donning a jersey.

Enrollment is ongoing. Interested applicants can know more about the course with the help of this syllabus.

Course description

Idiocy 101 is a well-designed, off-classroom subject that deals with causing controversy in both the UAAP and NCAA. The course is structured to anger and enrage passionate fans of the sixteen schools that comprise both aforementioned leagues through horrible officiating and questionable leadership and decision-making skills of UAAP and NCAA officials.

Course outline

The course begins with historical precedents. The NCAA got the ball rolling over the summer through its lack of decisiveness on the Philippine Christian University issue. It flip-flopped over whether or not the Dolphins should participate in Season 84. After at least two postponements, the league’s top honchos finally decided to let the Taft outfit play – a late move that didn’t really give PCU the chance to recruit vigorously and prepare for the battle ahead.

After examining past events, Idiocy 101 moves into the early-season blunders that have beset both leagues. On opening weekend of the UAAP, students of rival schools Ateneo and De La Salle were left clueless over two technical fouls issued on their respective coaches. Green Archers mentor Franz Pumaren was slapped a technical for not wearing his official ID – a move that was valid if only some semblance of consistency was maintained. Just a day before, UST tactician Pido Jarencio managed to coach one whole game against UE sans wearing his own ID and the technical foul.

Ateneo coach Norman Black, meanwhile, was issued his own technical in the DLSU game for “disobeying the commissioner’s orders” before the start of the fourth quarter. Commissioner Almighty, as one of my colleagues often says, was seen arguing with Black and seething with anger across the playing court as if a drunk man was being confronted by an equally wasted individual for messing up “My Way” at a local videoke.

The course introduces even the most avid of basketball fans to the art of despicable officiating. Technical fouls ranging from “improper bench decorum,” like the one given to Ateneo against UP apparently because two team officials were seated on the floor beside the bench – a reality given the fact that there are 11 players on the bench at any given time and a common practice in itself – to a million warnings and Ts for “taunting” despite the fact that players naturally can get carried away and psy-war each other are now a constant in college hoops.

At this point in the season, it is clear that the NABRO refs in charge of the UAAP have become the most competent lecturers and practitioners in the field of Idiocy. One of them has already been suspended for the year for “affecting the outcome of the game” through the issuance of two technicals on FEU at a crucial point in its game against La Salle. These issues have to be mastered in order to obtain a satisfactory mark in Idiocy 101.

The course then moves to the NCAA, whose games are hosted by the empty Pasay Astrodome. Idiocy 101 will also equip the student with tools on lackluster marketing, with the NCAA being the test case. Despite good officiating by PBL referees and exciting matchups, no one seems to care about the country’s oldest collegiate league. The league’s backers seem to be putting all their efforts on the UAAP, so much so that one playdate every week is not televised, not even on a delayed basis. If the JRU-San Beda and Letran-Mapua games were not moved from a non-televised Monday [July 21] to July 23, the art of efficient marketing would have already been perfected.

Course requirements

Students must manifest the anger and frustration that results from either the humiliating officiating and decision-making in the UAAP, or the apathy and terrible promotion of the NCAA games. Students are advised to boo during games, comment on Web sites like inboundpass.com and actively discuss subject matter among each other.

Consultation hours

Students may contact Commissioner Almighty, NABRO, and other concerned offices, policy boards and committees.

Should the course be a success, and both professors and students perform their tasks, a masteral level course will be offered.

Tags: Ateneo-Blue-Eagles, De-La-Salle-Green-Archers, NABRO, NCAA-Mancom, NCAA-Policy-Board, NCAA-Season-84, Petron, Pido-Jarencio, UAAP-Season-71

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